Wednesday, April 1, 2009

"The Lord never gives you more than you can handle"

I wish the above were true, but I'm not so sure. I know I reach points where I suddenly KNOW--this is too much for me; I'm on overload; the phaser is about to detonate! or collapse into itself.

I'm starting to be able to recognize those moments, but I don't really know what to do about them. Years of therapy taught me "that's when you need to reach out to someone." WORST ADVICE I'VE EVER HAD. That make work for people who have the popularity dust. For me, it means I have to deal with rejections on TOP of overload.

What seems to help me, if anything, is 1) pray 2) do something I enjoy, even for a short time 3) accomplish something, even something very small, and praise myself (no one else is gonna do it!) for this.

"How To Be Your Own Best Friend" was a popular book title decades ago...but I had to learn "How To Be Your Only Friend", for many periods of my life, out of necessity. The only book, maybe, was the Book of Job.

I hit more than I could handle last November, and I hit it again today. I've got good reasons. I'm not crazy; just given far more than I can possibly bear at one time...again. This means I'm going to be dropping some things, important things, without meaning to, in a sloppy fashion, because I can't carry the load and some of it is going to slip out of my hands, with bad consequences.

And I know I'm talking to the ether, but I'm used to it. I've just got to stop chattering to myself in public. Seems to unnerve passers-by!

3 comments:

Protege said...

What a very touching post.
I am so sorry that life is putting you through such a turmoil. If it is any consolation, you have a lovely way with words and I admire your courage to get up every day and face a new day; as I am sure that takes a lot courage from your side.
Thank you for stopping by my place and leaving such a lovely comment.;)
You have a really nice blog.;)

Beep said...

Protege, it was so nice of you to visit me here and to leave me such a positive message. You seem to be a very caring person! Thank you, so much. Hope life is treating you well!

Keera Ann Fox said...

I have learned that "stop" is an option, too. Sometimes people or contact or talking or effort is not what a person needs. Just stopping and taking a complete break has often helped me.

Synchronically, word verification word is "quittess". :-)

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I've travelled the distance from an Ivy League college to decades of enforced poverty--because I've needed to qualify for government health care in the U.S., since being diagnosed with lupus at the age of 23. I have a personal blog at http://beepbeep.livejournal.com that I've had so long I'm probably stuck with :) My other blogs are here on blogger...
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