I have three other blogs. Not that they are very much read either but for now I have some compelling reasons to keep those up. This one isn't read and doesn't seem to be useful to anyone except me...I use the links a lot and also keep track of what my friends are doing with it. I could probably move those functions to somewhere else.
So...thinking about whether to keep it or kill it. It was primarily for women's issues and emotional issues, stuff like that. But I get tired of blatant reminders of my unpopularity. So tired that lately I've been taking somewhat of a break from people. I'm one of the few people who sometimes can treat their depression by spending more time alone! I'm misjudged a lot, criticized a lot; praise is rare. When I think of the word "alone" there is a subtext of "lonely", but the stronger feeling is: "safe." Which I think says something. The world beats me up and I get really worn out and have to recharge.
I've been in horrible fights lately regarding medications I need and also in a battle with a bank for some insurance coverage they had promised and not delivered. I'm going to have to win the former or I won't live. The latter I'm probably going to have to suck up, and come up with money from somewhere. Who knows where. Plus I've been withdrawing from prednisone. And someone who was close to me has hurt me in a way that will take time to heal. Lastly--I know a LOT of people who only are willing to put up with me when I am very positive and full of energy. But I'm really tired right now. I'm in a lupus flare and can't help it. I'm not down, but I'm not perky. Just can't do perky when I'm physically exhausted.
Oh, well. I have a lot of solitary pursuits which I enjoy. Also, I live with beings who tolerate me...one human, one betta fish, and seven hermit crabs. Not that I don't get pinched now and then...!
But I'm talking to myself here, and I could do that in a personal journal...or aloud while I'm driving the car :)
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