Friday, June 26, 2009

Deciding whether to keep this blog up


I have three other blogs. Not that they are very much read either but for now I have some compelling reasons to keep those up. This one isn't read and doesn't seem to be useful to anyone except me...I use the links a lot and also keep track of what my friends are doing with it. I could probably move those functions to somewhere else.

So...thinking about whether to keep it or kill it. It was primarily for women's issues and emotional issues, stuff like that. But I get tired of blatant reminders of my unpopularity. So tired that lately I've been taking somewhat of a break from people. I'm one of the few people who sometimes can treat their depression by spending more time alone! I'm misjudged a lot, criticized a lot; praise is rare. When I think of the word "alone" there is a subtext of "lonely", but the stronger feeling is: "safe." Which I think says something. The world beats me up and I get really worn out and have to recharge.

I've been in horrible fights lately regarding medications I need and also in a battle with a bank for some insurance coverage they had promised and not delivered. I'm going to have to win the former or I won't live. The latter I'm probably going to have to suck up, and come up with money from somewhere. Who knows where. Plus I've been withdrawing from prednisone. And someone who was close to me has hurt me in a way that will take time to heal. Lastly--I know a LOT of people who only are willing to put up with me when I am very positive and full of energy. But I'm really tired right now. I'm in a lupus flare and can't help it. I'm not down, but I'm not perky. Just can't do perky when I'm physically exhausted.

Oh, well. I have a lot of solitary pursuits which I enjoy. Also, I live with beings who tolerate me...one human, one betta fish, and seven hermit crabs. Not that I don't get pinched now and then...!


But I'm talking to myself here, and I could do that in a personal journal...or aloud while I'm driving the car :)

8 comments:

Protege said...

Oh, I am sorry you feel this blog is not read.:( I read it , but I do not always leave comments. However nice it is with comments, I always felt that a blog (to me at least), is more or a less a personal diary and I view it as such, no matter how popular or read it might become.;)

I know what you mean about taking a break from people.;) Too many people are trouble.
Where are your two other blogs, also here at blogger?

Wishing you a lovely Saturday.;)
xo

alice said...

I don't know how you manage to keep up three blogs! I can _barely_ stay on top of one!

But if you close this one, I read the other two, so I should stay up to date...

Beep said...

Protege and Alice thank you so much for your kind words here; they really cheered me up :)

I'm behind on every blog at the moment while at Anime Expo http://www.anime-expo.org/ but when my old bones get back home I expect to find writing the most energetic form of exercise I will have the energy for, lol.

My other blogs are at http://beepbeep.livejournal.com and http://starving-e.blogger.com

(((hugs)))

Beep said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Beep said...

OOPS I meant http://starving-e.blogspot.com and also one at http://710lupuslife.blogspot.com .

A Stitch In Thyme said...

I just found you. May I suggest something? Combine them all and get it down to one. Most folks end up with tons of followers and it's very hard to put time into each blog. I would follow. But I can do all of them. Just a suggestion.

Beep said...

Hi Stich,

I probably will try combining at least a few :) LiveJournal is staying up until when and if the folks I am friends with there decide to leave...that was my first location and I've been there a very long time, but the place is changing and there is no way to tell whether it will end up better or worse than it is now. I need a crystal ball!

I'll probably split the economics/political one off with its own email address since I am residing in a very divided country and just about anything one says are "fightin' words" to somebody...

Nice to see you here and I'm going to check out your blog now! I haven't been typing much in the past few weeks because I was away from home and now have been coping with a bout of arthritis. Sometimes makes typing just impossible. Irritating. When it first started happening to me I was in my teens and did not have a clue what was going on! Actually I might have had it in third grade; I remember having so much trouble learning cursive writing and explaining that it HURT (to this day my handwriting sucks!) But I thought everyone hurt and just coped with it better. Typing on a laptop with soft keys with arthritis is a million times better than trying to learn cursive writing with a stubby pencil with arthritis. People say they want to be young again but I don't ! ;)

Beep said...

Stitch, it looks like I don't have permission to see your blog, but break dancing always looked like fun ;)

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I've travelled the distance from an Ivy League college to decades of enforced poverty--because I've needed to qualify for government health care in the U.S., since being diagnosed with lupus at the age of 23. I have a personal blog at http://beepbeep.livejournal.com that I've had so long I'm probably stuck with :) My other blogs are here on blogger...
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